Taking the Reigns

Sometimes, bad things happen.

A recipe I tried out was less than delicious. One of my necklaces broke. A girlfriend backed out on our plans. It never feels good.

Sometimes, bad things are your fault.

I gave in to retail therapy as things have gotten stressful. It felt good for a moment to have something beautiful and new, but it did not feel great when it came time to pay the bills. To me, that is much worse.

The guilt all goes back to the serenity prayer...the line about having the courage to change the things I can. To control what is well within my power. To not become a victim of your own poor decision making.

Ironically, my retail slip has happened during a time of financial introspection. As I make big plans in my head about how much I'm going to save and just how I'm going to do it, I justify a sizable spending spree. What would Suze Orman say? Probably "DENIED!" lol.

So, I'm making a deal with myself. I make it here so that I'm accountable in some small way.

I will not buy any new clothes for the rest of the year.
I will limit how many times I go out for dinner, and try to keep the bill under $15.
I will stick as close as possible to my dinner schedule (planning out what I will cook) to make the most of the groceries.
I will stick to debit or cash.


I think that this list is a good start to replenishing my savings. The goal? I'd love to have an 8-month reserve that goes untouched. Time to start setting those financial goals!

What are your best tips for saving money?

Muscle Memory

Adam, for those who don't know, is my thoughtful boyfriend. This year when we said we weren't getting each other anything for Valentine's day, he gave me a gift anyway. The gift of relaxation: two gift cards for massages.

It took me a month and half to use the first one. It took me last week to use the second. Some might think it inconsiderate to wait so long, but it was the perfect thing to have in my back pocket during a stressful time.

For some reason, massages always seem so frivolous to me. Taking an hour out of the day to have someone rub me down always seemed like a crazy thing to spend my money on. But having this free massage at my discretion has completely changed my mind.

An hour of trigger point therapy later and my mood did a 180. I went from being tense, frustrated, negative and snippy to relaxed and completely carefree. Maybe I'm an easy sale, but after my experience, I indulged in a year long membership that will force me to take care of myself more regularly.

Sometimes I forget that doing something good for me doesn't have to be miserable. It's never easy to keep promises with myself about reading, eating veggies, running, not shopping. At least this massage deal is something good that I'm excited to do.

Pinteresting

I have a mildly obsessive interest in Pinterest. And I'm not getting paid to mention it, by the way.

It is a website that allows you to assemble a web-based inspiration board for whatever topic you'd like. This is a lifesaver for things like decor ideas, recipes, fashion, projects, and anything you can think of that can be represented through an image. My mother and I are even working on our Christmas lists through the site!

 Here's the deal:

When I log in, I see things that have been recently pinned by people I follow. It's similar to the feed on Facebook. You have the option to like, comment, or repin your friends image to your own inspiration board.

When you click on someone's "pin," you see a larger version of the image and can see where the image came from. If you click the larger image, it will actually take you back to the original site where it was pinned! This feature makes it an excellent way to clear out the growing mound of bookmarks in your toolbar!

Each pin is part of a "board," like an inspiration board. What a great way to replace all those collages I made for my personal lookbook! As you can see I have boards for fashion, my dream home, entertaining, recipes, DIY projects and random things that are too cute to forget about.

But the best part of Pinterest is the "Pin It" button. You add this button to your bookmarks bar in your browser -- but it doesn't take you to another page. When you browse the internet and find something you want to mark, hit the "Pin It" button and all of the images will be extracted from that page. Choose the image that best represents what you are trying to save and a pin will automatically be created without you ever leaving that page. You can label the pin, make notes and even share with your social networks without interrupting your Internet surfing session.

At this point, the network is dominated largely by women: mommies, brides to be, graphic designers, photographers. Maybe the million images of DIY baby booties and glittery pumps is a little intimidating for men, children and the professional world...but I really think there is potential with this form of social networking.

To me it seems like an eye-catching adaptation of Twitter. Microblogging with images! And because you can choose which of a user's boards you subscribe to, there is the same thematic organization as with most blogs.

I'm not really sure yet how else this program would be applied -- I imagine work presentations, interior design boards, wishlists -- I'm sure there are other brilliant ways to apply Pinterest. I think the job of the company (and they have their work cut out for them) is to rebrand this and expand their audience.

But personally, I'm really looking forward to the future of this site!

A Stressful September

For most people in my life, right now is a stressful time. The traditional wedding season is nearing it's end, but does not seem to be slowing down. I have three friends that just had a baby or are nearing the end of their pregnancy. Friends with older kids are about to send them off to school. Those still in college have begun classes.

Entering September always seems to begin the slippery slope into the holidays. Before I know it I'll be standing in the middle of Thanksgiving, not knowing how I got there.

In my case, I have some crazy deadlines at work.We typically have a month to put an issue of the magazine together... this month I have a week and a half. Panic set in immediately. I could feel my body go into stress mode and my mind flutter in circles around the seemingly endless list of things I need to accomplish. Being in such a flustered state of mind has inevitably made me and others I work with pretty sensitive. Almost every interaction has some kind of tension and urgency that can be attributed almost completely to this timing issue.

Surely the stress won't end with this one issue. It's all leading up to a trade show that we host annually. It's my first go around with all of this, so naturally I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. Times like this make me long for a Chance card -- like in Monopoly. A "Get out of Stress Free" card.

Wouldn't it be lovely?

But instead of wasting time on idle dreams, I have found a quick way to get through when I am a little too tightly wound (I admit, it happens...):

1. Get yourself out of there! Don't pout or grumble at your desk. Go to the lobby, go outside, heck -- go to the bathroom. Just get yourself away from the place that makes you stressed.

2. Breathe. The value of a few deep breaths are sorely underrated. You may not be able to go into a yoga-like state and clear your mind -- I know I never am -- but you can stop worrying about everything but breathing for a second. This always seems to flush out the bad emotions a little.

3. Have a sensory experience. That probably sounds odd and vague, but hear me out. I don't support binging on anything, but there is a reason people like to eat or shop or listen to music when they are upset. Certain foods can have a positive effect on mood, and both art and music can also have a direct impact on your disposition. Whatever your preference is, take a second to use your senses in a way that makes you happy. I love some Fiona Apple and a chai tea, personally!

4. Look at the whole puzzle. Now that you have removed yourself from the situation, calmed yourself down, and made yourself happy...think about the situation rationally. It's time to be the bigger person now!

5. Be real. If the thing you're stressed about involves another person, it's time to communicate. Giving feedback is hard, but people can never live up to your expecations if they don't know what you expect in the first place. Talk to your coworker/friend/significant other/dog and tell them what is going on. Be honest and real with them -- even when we are in the workplace we are all just people.


I hope this helps somebody as they find themselves atop a mountain of stress. We've all been there, we're all going to be there again. Luckily, there's a back down the mountain.

RISK -- and reward

Recently, I had my family over for a game of Risk. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, it's basically an attempt at world domination. You take the cards you're dealt and try to strategically take over the countries and continents of others. You see a caricature of peoples' personalities, for sure.

I'd say that, much like in real life, I make a lot of big plans in my head about what I want to do -- doable plans. But as soon as other peoples' plans and influences interact with mine...I become a lot more conservative.

Strangely, this kind of behavior was discussed at length in a Suze Orman special on PBS: "The Money Class."

I watched the special the morning after our endless game of Risk, and a lot of dots were connected. Orman discusses how the financial truth for so many American's is that they are simply ignorant about their money. In an information age where there seems to be so much to know, the mere IDEA of finances become so overwhelming that we instead decide to do nothing. 

But there is no reward for taking no risk.

We all make big plans in our heads: about the diets we're about to go on, about running every morning, about our finances, about everything. Yet, when the task becomes overwhelming, we feel safer in our ignorance and just try to get by on whatever we know how to do.

Orman's special made me realize that -- yes -- I do feel this way about money. Fortunately, I'm young enough to rectify my mistakes. The apathy that has been on my back for some time now, however, is grad school.

During a time in our economy when taking on any additional debt seems inadvisable...is it such a risk to invest in yourself? Or is the real risk investing in the notion that graduate school will take me someplace I couldn't get on my own.

I do think that a lot of my undergraduate work focused on skills best suited for the ivy towers of academia, and not for the real world. I worry about entering more debt only to find that I am wasting my time on skills I might never apply outside the classroom. One would imagine that grad school, attended laregly by people already in the professional world, focuses more on concepts that will help propel them into the future. 

But like Suze Orman suggests, feeling safe in our ignorance yields no reward...so why waste valuable time?

Today, I emailed Eastern Michigan University about their graduate program in Written Communications. Hopefully they respond with the same enthusiasm as they would for freshly-plucked high school seniors.

Allowing Your Bliss

 The weather is inspiring me today. It's taking me back in time to 2005.

Even in the house, it feels crisp. The leaves are still green but the sky is that certain blue that tells me fall is coming as we hang on to the last of the summer sun. Still recovering from those last reckless sunburns of the season, there's nothing that transports me as quickly as a cool breezy day. I am an entirely different person now. I sit in my leafy green office sipping a cup of chai tea, procrastinating as I fondly remember the rush of school supplies and making my bed at the dorm for the first time.

I remember sitting under the tree in front of Powell and humming solfege while quietly admiring boys in the quad. I remember those evening games of ultimate frisbee and the alluring mystery of being a doe-eyed freshman. I remember listening to Parachutes on my CD player and the sunlight seemed golden, life seemed wonderfully melancholy in those brief moments alone listening to music.I remember the desperation in wanting to be something and trying to figure out who I was. 

I think it's true that most people don't appreciate what they have until it's over.

High school -- I remember it more fondly now that it's over, but I'd never want to go through it again. College -- I would do it over in a heartbeat. Even if I had to make all the same stupid mistakes. Even if I had to go through all the same struggles to find my way here.

I would love to relive those cool nights, busting out the AC sweaters and sneaking beer into the football game. I would give so much to go back to New York and run around with my head cut off again. It would be fantastic to wake up at 8am and walk to philosophy and argue the piss out of a misogynist and future lawyer. I would embrace those moments where I came off looking like a complete loon, letting it all hang out and having a great time doing it.

I don't think that feeling is completely gone, and as the weather has become a bit more mild these past few days, I feel like I'm coming back into myself. So maybe I'm in a grown up relationship with bills to pay. But that doesn't mean that the college freshman in me has to die. I can't wait for the season to blossom into a bustle of rustic colors. There is nothing better than a pair of suede boots, a chunky scarf and some apple cider.

Sometimes, I think feeling blissful has less to do with "following your bliss" and more to do with the ability to stop holding yourself back.

Bargain Shopping

Those who know me best are quite familiar with my love for bargain shopping. I believe in the power of retail therapy: the rush of finding the last fabulous thing in your size, the validation of finding it on sale, and the confidence you get from flaunting it.

My latest purchases?

The first is just over $20, a sale item at French Connection. The second is actually from Forever 21, an adorable summer find for under $20.

Sure, I enjoy a great deal. So do a lot of women. Most, especially those my age, can't really afford to go around bragging about how they paid full price for this or that. Is it about the money saved? Not quite. It's about value.

When I go to the store, by myself or with a shopping buddy, I always ask myself the same question: How cute is this? That probably sounds like a stupid question to ask, but I don't respond like a squealing 14 year old ("omg, TOTALLY cute!"). I respond with a price.

The unfortunate thing about retail is that they tell you what the price is. No salesperson is going to watch you in the mirror and say "You're right, it's only $25 worth of cute. I will discount you at the register." So you have to draw that line yourself. 

What are you willing to pay to look like this? Is it a good quality garment? Does it need alterations? Is it dry clean only? Is it versatile? Is it unique? All of these things factor into the long term cost of your garment.

Personally, I did a good bit of shopping right before my trip to Boston with Emma. But fall is right around the corner, and I'm already seeing a lot of likable trends in my favorite magazines. I have little doubt that I will soon be found in a dressing room haggling with myself over the cuteness of a certain pair of green skinny jeans.