Training, and the Terrible Twos

This is Heidi. She is a Sheltie, about 1 1/2 years old. From the day we brought her home, she was a loving pup, which I like to attribute to the fact that she was born on the eve of Valentine's day. Adam and I were also fortunate that she was quick to learn commands and become house trained.

For the next long while, it was smooth sailing. We couldn't have been more grateful, as Adam and I had taken on massive home improvement projects on a very tight deadline. There wasn't much time to train or fuss, something we felt guilty about. But, Heidi's good behavior was a sign to us that she understood and was happy nonetheless.

But one day a couple months ago a switch flipped. She started peeing in the house pretty regularly, was a little more lethargic, and just seemed a little less obedient than usual. I was quick to be firm with her and do what I could to remind Heidi that the carpet was not a good place to pee...but there was a general sense of helplessness in retraining something you thought had become second nature. How did I do it the first time? Does my dog hate me? Do I really need to start from the beginning with training? I thought the hard work was over.

So I began taking her out every two hours and rewarding her for peeing outside. I punished her when she peed inside. It's all I could think to do -- punish and reward. I was so worried that the lovingly named Terrible Twos applied to dogs as well as children. But there was something important that I was missing: Dogs have problems too.

If I thought I was upset that my formerly well-trained dog was now casually defiling my house, I can only imagine what Heidi was feeling when we all learned that she had a bladder infection. Our poor dog had a medical condition and was being punished for it!

Maybe the connection is a little stretched, although not so much in my home where Heidi functions as a family member, but the whole incident made me think of how we treat people -- especially those in our professional lives. When we see unexplained behavior in our peers and employees, are we quick to punish?

Obviously, in this scenario we are dealing with a dog...but people are much less black and white. Our lives are rife with complication, yet so many workplaces drop the ball on dealing with that reality. Maybe the next time we notice someone in our lives struggling to perform up to our expectations, we should investigate a little more deeply before punishing someone for things that are unintentional or out of their control.

In my case, I would say I was pretty fortunate. A little medication and extra love will remedy my dog's behavior, and I don't have to wonder about the Terrible Twos. Still, a little refresher on the basics of dog training couldn't hurt.

City Living

As a staunch Type A personality, my interest in cleanliness goes beyond the pleasure of putting everything in it's place -- it's really about a state of mind. When my desk is clear, my mind is free from distraction; I have a sense of peace. But I have come to believe that at some point, the minimalist lifestyle can lead to a head that's clear only because it's empty.

It's the everyday things that make your life real, and that allow writing to breathe with your voice. So maybe stark white office furniture isn't as inspiring as it is austere at times.

That's exactly why my most recent vacation was very much in order. I just arrived home from Boston -- exhausted, broke and covered in chili from dinner on the road -- but also with a new appreciation for those little things that are just part of the element here in Detroit. I'm not suddenly disilusioned that this is anything like Boston...but there are clear differences.

One thing that was nice about being in the city -- and this is going to sound weird -- is that it was dirty and painful and public. In the privacy of loftier Detroit suburbs, life is about the comfort of your home and little subdivisions that bustle with children.

In Boston, it was city walking with a layer of impermeable dirt on your heels. It was EVERYTHING bustling EVERYWHERE. There is a sense of community in touching what a million hands have touched on the subway and suffering daily as you discover the discomfort of your shoes for the first time. There is a quaintness near the ocean as the buildings crammed into each other and overflowed into the street.

I have to admit that cities like Chicago and Boston have always felt dreamy to me. But like most others, it becomes difficult to just pick up life and go once you get rooted. But for all of us in that situation, I think that we can gain perspective on what our lives are about when we get a taste of the "greener grass." I enjoyed living a different life and the historical character for a few days. As a result I had a greater appreciation for my more stark,peaceful lifestyle at home.

Although the pull to "get everything together" is great, there is something spiritual about glistening hotly in the weather and getting lost for a while.

Screw up Once, Shame on You. Screw up Twice...DON'T.

People make mistakes. COMPUTERS make mistakes. It has to be okay to make mistakes.

Unfortunately, in the world of writing, a simple typo can cost companies a lot of money. Having that happen can be devastating. If you're anything like me -- a complete Type A personality -- mistakes feel you feel really dumb and a little sick, even when they're not all your fault.

But it is too easy to become paranoid. Don't begin over analyzing everything just because of one mistake. It all comes back to realizing what your weaknesses are and keeping an eye out for them. No writer can guarantee they won't forget a period or have a short-term lapse of dyslexia. But, when you stop trusting yourself, you will never be able to get out of your own way.

Instead, put your weaknesses on the front burner and keep them in mind while you write. There are few faster ways to lose the trust of a company than by making the same mistake twice.

Stop Selling Yourself Short

When we entertain the idea or begin the process of starting a business, the idea is always the same: We have a product or service we want to sell to a lot of people. Social media has gained a lot of attention for being the great equalizer between the astronomical budgets of corporations and the meager to non-existent start-up funds of many small business owners. But there is a quiet movement towards monetizing these social media efforts that could be putting your business in the hole.

In our great country, we seldom take the time to question the argument that more is better...which is why companies of all sizes border on desperation as they try to get consumers to follow them on Twitter or "like" their Facebook Page. An excellent example of this was recently mentioned by Kizer & Bender, a duo of retailing experts I had the pleasure of interviewing recently (Link Below).

Did This National Restaurant Chain Put Too Much Love into the Like?

Articles like this have to make you wonder: What is the potential profit of having one person like your Facebook Page? Considering the potential cost of their efforts to reach 100,000 fans, they must have valued it pretty highly. To me, it just sounds a little unwise to put all of your eggs (and money!) into the social media basket.

However, Bucca di Beppo had one thing going for them: The people they were trying to reach were already involved with the brand. They weren't strangers just looking for a gift card -- these people had already subscribed to a loyalty program through the restaurant.

The rush to gain a following has become so urgent for some people that they turn to third party groups to artificially boost their numbers. Did you know you can buy Twitter followers now? I don't know how reliable the business is, and it certainly isn't my attempt to endorse them here, but Get TwitterFollowers claims they can get you thousands of new followers for a small price. While it sounds tempting, what are you really going to get out of it?

The fact that there is a "need" for this kind of business really says that people are willing to pay to have ANYONE look at their content. In reality, I think it just circumvents the process of natural selection in the business world. If you're passionate and have a good product, things have a way of working out over time.

Don't sell yourself short over impatience or desperation. The whole point of social media is that you can get word out to people for FREE. So stop falling for the idea that, regardless of the cost, more is better.